The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F Walmart
The Book in Three Sentences
Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the near productive use of your fourth dimension and energy. This is true considering every life has problems associated with information technology and finding significant in your life volition assistance you sustain the endeavour needed to overcome the particular problems you face. Thus, nosotros tin say that the key to living a skilful life is non giving a fuck about more things, merely rather, giving a fuck only nigh the things that align with your personal values.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck summary
This is my book summary of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Marking Manson. My notes are informal and often contain quotes from the volume as well equally my own thoughts. This summary also includes key lessons and important passages from the volume.
- Conventional cocky-assist advice which tells you to visualize success and think most the blazon of person you lot desire to be only reinforces the idea that yous are not that thing.
- Everyone wants yous to believe that the secret to a adept life is to accept a nicer job or a better car or a prettier girlfriend.
- The key to a good life is not giving a fuck well-nigh more; information technology's giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.
- We are no longer facing a material crisis. Nosotros have plenty of resources: TVs and clothes and goods that we don't need. The problem we face is existential and spiritual. We accept and so much stuff and then many opportunities that we don't know what to give a fuck about anymore.
- Because in that location's an infinite amount of things nosotros tin can now see or know, at that place are also an space number of ways we can detect that nosotros don't measure upwards, that we're not good enough, that things aren't as great equally they could be.
- The desire for a more than positive feel is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one'south negative experience is itself a positive feel.
- Pursuing something only reinforces that you lack information technology in the commencement place.
- Accepting your experience of life as beingness smashing and wonderful is the single greatest matter you tin exercise for your happiness.
- "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." -Albert Camus
- Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.
- If y'all are able to not give a fuck virtually the hurting your goals require, then you become unstoppable.
- The moments when we don't give a fuck and take action are frequently the moments that most ascertain the course of our lives.
- You are going to die someday. Anybody you know is going to die before long. And in your short life you but have a sure amount of fucks to give.
- Learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts finer based on finely honed personal values is maybe the greatest and near important struggle in life.
- Subtlety #1: Not giving a fuck is non about being indifferent. It just means you're comfy with being different. Don't say fuck it to everything in life, but to the unimportant things.
- Subtlety #2: To not give a fuck about arduousness, you must start care about something more important than adversity.
- Subtlety #three: Whether you realize it or non, yous are ever choosing what to give a fuck near. The central is to gradually prune the things you care about, and so that you simply give a fuck on the most important of occasions.
- When a person has no bug, the heed automatically finds a way to invent some.
- I think what most people — especially educated, pampered heart-class white people — consider "life problems" are actually just side effects of not having anything more important to worry most.
- Finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive utilize of your time and energy.
- It'south okay for things to suck some of the time.
- Practical enlightenment is the act of becoming comfortable with the idea that some suffering is always inevitable.
- There is no value in suffering when it is washed without purpose.
- Don't hope for a life without bug. Hope for a life with adept problems.
- Issues never cease. They only get exchanged or upgraded.
- Happiness is found in solving problems, not fugitive them.
- True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and savor solving. Happiness is wanting the issues you have and wanting to solve them.
- Emotions are merely biological signals designed to nudge you in the direction of beneficial change.
- Negative emotions are a sign that something is going unaddressed. They are a call to action. Positive emotions are the reward for taking the correct action.
- Nosotros should question our emotions because they are not e'er correct.
- Don't ask yourself what you lot want out of life. It's piece of cake to want success and fame and happiness and great sexual activity. Everybody wants those things. A much more interesting question to ask yourself is, "What kind of pain exercise I want?" What you are willing to struggle for is a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.
- You tin can't merely exist in love with the result. Everybody loves the consequence. You have to beloved the process.
- The climb to the acme is a never-ending upwardly spiral with new problems always surfacing and new processes that you must fall in love with. Yous are never allowed to stop climbing considering the entire indicate is to love the climb. If you ever stop loving the climb, the results will never come.
- Cocky-esteem, by itself, is overrated. Information technology doesn't help to feel good most yourself unless you lot take a skillful reason for feeling that way. The struggle makes self-esteem useful, non the participation trophy.
- Your problems are not privileged in their severity or pain. You are non unique in your suffering.
- The more exposed we are to opposing viewpoints, the more than we seem to get upset that those other viewpoints exist. This seems similar a logical trend to me because before the internet and our hyper-continued modern world, people didn't accept every bit much likelihood of running into ideas that disagreed with their ain. Today, alternate ideas are far more likely to cross your radar screen.
- About of us are pretty boilerplate at most things we do. Even if you're exceptional at one thing, chances are you're average or below boilerplate at almost other things.
- Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell curve of human being experience. The best of the all-time, worst of the worst, and about upsetting of the upsetting. We but run across the nigh infrequent news stories because that'due south what drives revenue. This is a real problem when it comes to comparison because you can simply be exceptional in one thing thing and yous're going to be below boilerplate in nearly everything else. That makes comparing a very dangerous game to play.
- The trouble is that the pervasiveness of technology and mass marketing is screwing upwardly a lot of people's expectations for themselves.
- 1 of the most pervasive narratives nigh masculinity in our culture is that the most valuable thing a man can achieve is sexual practice and it'due south worth sacrificing nearly anything to become it. (Interestingly, this corresponds to one of the dominant female narratives, which is that the greatest thing a woman tin can be is beautiful.)
- People who are exceptional become that manner by thinking they are boilerplate and focusing on improvement. Y'all don't become exceptional by believing y'all are exceptional.
- The more uncomfortable the respond, the more likely it is to exist true.
- Problems are inevitable, merely what they mean is flexible. Nosotros get to command what our issues mean to united states based on how we cull to think about them and how nosotros cull to measure them. The mode we measure success influences how nosotros view the issues we confront.
- "Pleasance is a false god. Inquiry shows that people who focus their energy on superficial pleasures end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more than depressed. Pleasance is the about superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose."
- People who base their self-worth on being right about everything forbid themselves from learning from their mistakes.
- "I twenty-four hour period, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike yous as the almost beautiful." -Sigmund Freud
- People who are terrified of what others recollect about them are actually terrified of all the negative things they call back about themselves being reflected back at them.
- When we experience that we're choosing our problems, nosotros experience empowered. When nosotros feel that our problems are being forced upon united states against our will, we experience victimized and miserable.
- We don't ever control what happens to united states. Merely we ever control how we translate what happens to u.s., as well every bit how we respond.
- Accepting responsibility for our problems is the offset step to solving them.
- A lot of people hesitate to take responsibleness for their problems because they believe that to be responsible for your bug is likewise to exist at fault for your problems. This is not true. We are responsible for experiences that aren't our fault all the time. This is part of life.
- People volition often fight over who gets to be responsible for successful and happiness. Merely taking responsibility for our problems is far more important because that's where existent learning comes from.
- Growth is an endlessly iterative procedure. When we acquire something new, we don't go from "wrong" to "correct." Rather, we go from wrong to slightly less wrong. We shouldn't seek to notice the ultimate "right" answer for ourselves, merely rather, nosotros should seek to bit away at the means that we're wrong today then that we tin can be a trivial less incorrect tomorrow.
- Certainty is the enemy of growth.
- All beliefs are wrong—some are merely less wrong than others.
- Counterintuitive insight by Baumeister regarding evil: some of the worst criminals oftentimes felt proficient about themselves. Low cocky-esteem was not ever associated with evil acts.
- The more you try to go certain well-nigh a particular issue, the more uncertain and insecure you lot will feel.
- The more than you lot embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you lot will feel in knowing what y'all don't know.
- The man who believes he knows everything learns nothing.
- Manson's Police of Abstention: The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. The more something threatens how you view yourself, the more you will avoid getting effectually to doing information technology.
- If I believe I'thousand a overnice guy, I'll avoid situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I'm an crawly cook, I'll seek out opportunities to prove that to myself over and over again. The belief e'er takes precedence.
- Manson's idea of "kill yourself" is similar to Paul Graham's idea of "go on your identity small." The fundamental point is that if you don't have an identity to protect, so alter becomes much easier.
- For any alter to happen in your life, you must take that yous were wrong near something you lot were doing before.
- "Information technology is the marker of an educated mind to be able to entertain a idea without accepting information technology." -Aristotle
- If information technology feels like it's you versus the world, chances are it'south actually just yous versus yourself.
- The magnitude of your success is tied to how many times y'all've failed at that thing.
- Goals are limited in the corporeality of happiness they tin can provide in our lives considering they are finite. Once yous achieve the goal, it can no longer provide happiness because the finish line has been crossed. Paradoxically, and so, past choosing processes as your focus, you tin increase your overall, lifelong happiness by focusing on the process and not the goal. Processes never terminate, which means happiness can continue indefinitely.
- Action isn't only the effect of motivation; it'south besides the cause of it. Do something and inspiration will follow.
- How practise you write a tons of books? Write "200 crappy words per day" and you'll discover motivation often flows out of yous.
- Manson'south "do something" principle sounds a lot similar the philosophy behind the two-minute rule. Practice something at present, even if it'due south actually small, and let practiced deportment pour as a issue.
- To truly appreciate something, you must confine yourself to it. There's a sure level of joy and meaning that you lot attain in life merely when you've spent decades investing in a single relationship, a unmarried arts and crafts, a unmarried career. And y'all cannot achieve those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.
- The mark of an unhealthy relationship is when two people endeavor to solve each other's bug in order to feel good about themselves.
- Trust is the most of import ingredient in any relationship for the simple reason that without trust the relationship doesn't actually mean anything.
- Investing deeply in one person, one identify, i job, i activity might deny us the latitude of experience we'd like, merely pursuing a breadth of feel denies united states of america the opportunity to enjoy the rewards of depth of feel.
- Delivery, in its own way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would never otherwise be available to you, no matter how many surface level experiences you pursued.
- Rejection of alternatives liberates u.s.. In a foreign way, delivery to one thing offers more freedom than anything else because it relieves you of all the second guessing about what else is out there.
- If there is no reason to do anything, if life is pointless, then there is also no reason to not do annihilation. What do you take to lose? You're going to dice anyway, so your fears and embarrassments and failures don't mean anything. You might every bit well effort.
- All of the meaning in our life is shaped by our innate desire to never truly die. Our physical bodies will die, but we cling to the idea that we tin live on through organized religion, politics, sports, art, and technological innovation.
- The only way to be comfortable with decease is to understand and encounter yourself as something bigger than yourself, to contribute to some much larger entity.
- It is the act of choosing your values and living by them that makes y'all great, not any upshot or accomplishment.
- "Nosotros're all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should make us love each other, only it doesn't." -Charles Bukowski
Reading Suggestions
This is a listing of authors, books, and concepts mentioned in The Subtle Art of Non Giving a F*ck, which might be useful for future reading.
- The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Marking Manson
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Source: https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck
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